Treat discipline as a form of teaching, not a form of punishment. Your child needs to learn Xi how to get along with others and stay safe. He was an enthusiastic student, but the most important lessons – sharing, patience, cooperation, caution – took years to assimilate. As his primary teacher, it’s your job to reinforce the curriculum with consistency, patience, and compassion.
Consistency is especially important for young children. If Mom’s computer was banned yesterday, it should be banned today. And don’t worry about repeating yourself. A toddler may need to listen to it a hundred times before it makes sense of the message.
He doesn’t need a lesson when he misbehaves. Give him a firm “no” and perhaps a quick explanation, such as “you might get hurt” or “that’s not a toy.” Then direct him to more desirable activities. The toddler’s attention span is short, so he may be happy to move on.
Pausing can help, but few children understand the concept before the age of three. For young children, the pause is confusing and frustrating. If your child is old enough to understand a pause, use it sparingly and limit it to three minutes or less – just long enough for your child to be in control. Put him in the “naughty chair” instead of sending him to his own room – you don’t want him to associate his room with punishment. Consider sitting with him. He may calm down faster, and you can also take advantage of this break.
No matter how bad your child behaves, hitting someone shouldn’t be an option. Spanking and slapping can make children scared of their parents. Even if you never want to hurt your child, it’s easy to lose control when you’re angry. If you want to hit your child, pause for a moment until the feeling passes.
Discipline is not always negative. Praise your child when you “spot” him behaving well, such as sharing toys with friends or cleaning up the mess. He will know that he doesn’t have to behave inappropriately to get your attention.
Finally, make it as easy as possible for your child to do the right thing. Try to avoid putting him in a situation that he can’t handle. For example, when he is tired and hungry, don’t take him on long shopping trips. And don’t let him be surrounded by things he is not allowed to touch. If his world is full of temptations, you will say “no” all day long. Try to increase his chances of playing and exploring, but minimize his chances of getting into trouble.