When our children are very young, we don’t care much about their behavior. As babies, their loud burps often elicit laughter, and when they learn to speak, we think their unintentional insults or seemingly rude behavior are quite cute. But etiquette becomes more and more important as kids enter preschool/daycare centers and start playing and attending birthday parties.
Children who don’t learn Xi respect, good manners, and how to get along with others may be shunned by their peers in childhood, alienated from teachers and classmates during school, and have trouble socially in adulthood.
Good News
Unfortunately, teaching children etiquette is not easy. If toddlers and preschoolers could draw a picture of the universe, they would put themselves in the center. They are not particularly interested in the needs of other people.
The good news is that you may have already started teaching your child etiquette. When your child wants more green beans (well, white rice), you prompt him to say “please”. When your preschooler receives a gift, you ask him “What do you want to say to grandma?” “Come and encourage him.
Good Manners Teaching Advice
While saying “please” and “thank you” is a great start, it’s just the beginning. Your child still has a lot to Xi. In general, the teaching of etiquette is all about instilling good behavior in a variety of situations. Here are some tips to help you:
Start simple. For 3-year-olds,”please” and “thank you” come first; Then add “I’m sorry”. Phone etiquette,”nice to meet you,” and thank-you notes are all far away.
Give them some strategies. When you answer the phone or start talking to someone, your preschooler suddenly has an irrepressible need to talk to you. While it is almost impossible to change this, you can teach your child to politely say “I’m sorry” or to squeeze your arms instead of screaming. As he gets older, you can explain the difference between good and bad reasons to bother. The need to snack is a bad thing. It’s a good thing to have a fire in the kitchen. If your child uses one of these strategies, respond immediately. Ignoring the gentle arm squeeze will send the message to your child that screaming is a better option – to get attention.
Talk. Please use it with your child and others you come into contact with, thank you and please forgive me. If you don’t say “please” when asking your child to pick up toys, or skip “thank you” when your spouse gives you a Valentine’s Day gift, then you’re ruining all the important lessons you’ve worked so hard to Xi. Go teach.
Let’s go. Similarly, it is polite to hold the door for the person behind you and help the elderly cross the street. Yelling at the stupid people stuck in traffic has the opposite effect.
Consistent. Politeness and good behavior don’t just apply to companionship or eating out. They need to be a part of your daily life.
Skip the lecture. Too many parents will start a lengthy sermon like “Stop yelling!” How many times do I have to tell you to be quiet at home? Short, to the point phrases like “please use your inner voice” will be more effective. The same goes for behavior. If your child picks up food with her hands, don’t teach her about the history of American cutlery, just hand her a fork.
More carrots, less sticks. Preschoolers do want to do the right thing, even if they’re not sure what that is. They crave praise. Therefore, praise your child a lot when they are doing well. To be specific: “I’m proud of you telling your little brother that you’re sorry that your block fell on his toe.”
Respect your child. If your child is acting rude, take her aside and discuss the issue privately. Criticizing your child in front of others will embarrass her and may cause her to become more rude later in life as a way to retaliate against you.
Establish and enforce consequences. As children get older, the standard of etiquette should get higher and higher. So if she asks you to go to the living room and bring the teddy bear she left there, tell her she’ll have to get it herself. If she doesn’t thank you for pouring her a big glass of milk, take it away until she does.
Finally, keep your expectations reasonable. In fact, teaching good manners is a process that takes years. At the same time, you need to be prepared to remind your child dozens of times a day before you can really understand the message.